[ 11.25.2003 ]
Active/inactive
"What the bloody hell I did on my holidays"
Let's see...
I haven't written anything here for weeks now. To be honest, I've given serious thought to give up writing a blog altogether - I haven't written even my personal diary for a month! Then again, I believe I'd surface after a few weeks/months with a new
blog with a fresh start and that'd make me feel more than a bit silly. Quitting for al-to-get-her is a baaaaad thing to do, if I'll just make up a new one later on. Desperate. Why not keep on writing under the same name? Why not indeed.
I'M ENTERING THE INACTIVE STATE, by not being passive. Just doing something completely different. I've already done some graphics and reconsidered how I wan't my blog to look. As you probably knew, this one's a ready-made template by Blogger that just happened to please me back then. Stay tuned. I think I might get something done for the 2004ev.
So that's about the excuses for not writing. Fine. At the moment I certainly haven't got any spare time, and if I had, I'll book myself some project in no time at all! Can't stay put.
It's about a month ago SSS and I broke up. Haven't cried since november 17th, but then again, That's what I'd like you to think, so there's no reason to trust me here. Well, really, haven't wept much after that. It's strange, how clearly the world that day changed. What happened ?Oh, I don't know! I just didn't feel that bad that day and there was all these things to do I liked. I guess, I just took the remains of my self opinion by balls, then. Now I manage being
just friends with SSS, though it still feels awful. And neither of us wan't to goon about cruing. We're both
meeting people, with fixed feelings and intentions. You probably know how it's like. For me, no one compares to her, no one comes even close - at least, not yet. But then again I'm not after substitutes, can't settle for one. And if I could, I wasn't probably worth one. It's just that, to me, life without sex life is half-life. And I have to keep some things separated in order not to tie myself in knots.
I have come to work every bloody weekday, except for two days I took day off. I've managed to master a pre-mixed single and recorded a demo tape of six new songs with a band of mine. And there's a new project we're starting with a group of noise-artists, I have met, having some mutual interests in the esoteric/occult stuff. Actually I've met quite a few people
(yep, and there's more to it than I'm willing to share today) around - it follows naturally from going out a lot. I've sat three days indoors at home for the last three weeks, which have taught me to drink non-alcoholic beverages in bars. You learn something new ever day, don't you, when hanging around in rock bars? Oh, and I've got to admit I've developed quite a habit of smoking again - there can be seen causality between these two things.
And I bought that 12-string bass guitar. God it sounds wonderful through a split effect loop with different sets of distortion pedals on each! Then some detune chorus and voila - overture of apocalypse! I've been told by SSS it should be named "Morgana", though I think it's more typhonian by nature (when played through the effect loop). Hold on to your hats, it's truly an instrument of sonorous chaos, this one. Maybe I should offer you a special sample some day?
just for you, looky-looky my friend, special price, only today, good for you, see, real gold, yes, special price only for you... What - I shouldn't?
You're telling me?
Mr EagleOwl [9:21 AM]
