[ 6.05.2003 ]
ilmaista pornoa - free porn*
Just what do you consider worth publishing, and how critically should one contemplate on the topic before doing so not to turn into self-righteous git?
First: I'd like to thank everybody for the surprising feedback I didn't got. Fuck you too. And this time the obligatory apologies go for the insulted idiots (P., T.G. and F-80 - you know who you are) who took it personally by mistake, thus diserving it. Beati paupere spiritu.
It seems I've been too busy lately thinking what to write and writing about thinking about what to write, ever since the Iraq confrontation, instead of actually writing something more or less intelligible. Everybody's got an opinion wether US should or should not have attacked, wether it was just for the oil, wether to protest or not etc. So why should I claim my opinions' self-importance? After avoiding the most obvious topics like the Matrix Reloaded and Revenge of the Son of the Gulf War PtII, what is there to write if it's not about the everyday banalities?
"Today I woke up, ate breakfast and walked the dog. The dog barked ("Woof-woof" in doggyish-deutsch - it's a doberman) at some trees, which were left behind. Wen't to work. T'was boring times x. At home I watched TV, hadn't seen one in years. My dad came by and joined for pizza. And then he asked me what's on telly then. I told it was a penguin."
Well I think we can do without another blog of that kind, can't we? Now I'm just wondering what could I offer for you - or should I take it that seriously at all, really, it's just a crappy blog partaking in the digging of ground beneath the feet of the importance of publishing.
It
has been quite uneasy and surprising life for me lately, with all the sudden changes in family relations and the stuff but maybe writing about life going on around me isn't that fascinating, really, is it. But at least I'm trying to make it do the thing for me, outside the blog. And reunion with a lost relative doesn't probably interest any of you too much. Even if it could be a lot more rewarding than recording a new release and sitting down by the telephone to give the interviews and go on promoting the crap. It's something I haven't experienced ever before. Well, once, but it's still quite new and fresh thing for me! And as such, worth living through.
Maybe I should comment my sex life? Or maybe on the occult underground. The things that matter me the most, the things that I try to make my life interest me with.
Musicianship is unbelievably boring topic, really, and yet it's one of the main frame sets of my mind. The "occult", too, if you don't know already a bit of what the left side marquee definition is about (unless - of course - you care to go through the links I've lain before thee). And sex? Go have some, why need to read it on someone elses blog, for dog's sake!
In the other hand, maybe that's exactly my problem! No, not sex - I'm at the moment quite satisfied. But the tendency to live outside my diaries and blog too fervently to see any real worth in writing about it. Thus ending in endless loss of decent entries.
Nah... It's just another bad day. Nothing more serious, so get on with it, will you?! Next time I'll come up with something intelligent. Unfortunately "iImaista pornoa/free porn" is not, even if it was the most interesting part of this entry. It's just a kind of test, about how the phrase will effect the ranking pages get in google - lest they are set to "parental advisory"-mode - as they're supposed to get you more hits on your blog. Some bloggers think that kind of things matter. Maybe it doesn't matter if it matters or not, and the results can be read like pure token facts.
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You're telling me?
Mr EagleOwl [6:02 AM]
[ 6.04.2003 ]
Mispelign in diverse langkuages
embarrasingly far from being actually funny
"O for heavens sake! What will they think of me for all the typoes and
cogito interruptus I have published?" Yarhg... as I sholud care, I just edited some previous texts. No doubt there'll still be more mispeligns and errors (ör-rör) left. And to come, god forbid, but maybe that's just how it is in these fine days. Maybe I should have mercy on english speaking people and start kirjoittaa suomeksi, saatana, even if english is - for a consensus -
the language of the web. Nah... they'll deserve it, I may not know why or how but I'm sure they do.
"And suomi?"
"Yes - Suomi - Paavo Nurmi, Leningrad Cowboys, Nokia and Linus Thorwalds!"
"No, you moran, Yes's not a finnish band!"
Sorry, couldn't help it. Even if it's awkwardly post-Sky-channel-European mishmash of american and british english, I like writing this crap. Well, most of the time I have after all the other crap, somewhere else. Or doing something equally harassing. Or embarrasing, depends on how you look at it. The whole point is, there's people reading this crap and I should try to evaluate if it's worthwile and justified waste of time. When I come to think of it, I don't want a single case of someone managing to connect my less narrative person with this one. I don't konw. Maybe it's just teh mispeligns that M-bare-ass me. But why is that, as if anybody should care nowadays, with children actually writing line like the underlined one before even without noticing anything funny in it? It's become just too easy to make errors in spelling (well, that's how I feel when I see the kids mutilating finnish in chat), as if it didn't take any effort at all! Back then it was printing errors that made people commit suicide!
So should I stay or should I go? I think I'll think it over and desing this blog a bit. That is, if I don't kill it all the way. If you wish, you can tell me your opinion and I'll sware I'll do my very best not to be overly flattered by not having all that hate mail.
You're telling me?
Mr EagleOwl [8:04 AM]
[ 6.02.2003 ]
Step-brother
family secrets all the way...
Last week I got one of the most unexpected phone calls there could have been, just after the office hours.
"Hey!"
"Well hello."
"D'you know who this is?"
"...uhm, let me guess - no?"
"It's me, N. Remember? N.N.. Care to meet me?"
That was my step-brother I hadn't heard of for more than ten years, who had come to visit the City with a band he tours with. So you could probably guess I was rather anxious to meet him. The problem was, I was afraid to do this. I was afraid he turned out just the kind of goon my parents had always told me he was. After all, he had to be as they were - in their own words - forced to throw him out. What if he only wanted to borrow me some money ("probably for drugs", my folks would have added) or was in need of a place to stay over and then ask for some money (repeat the previous parental advisory). But hadn't I always (at least secretly) questionned the acts of our parent, when it came to this drama, so why would I give a flying f-word for what my dear old mom and our dad would have to add. And so it turned out that I decided to go and meet N., no matter what. It had to be me to sort this out. It apparently isn't a one-truth history of our family.
Now, for a moment excuse me if I sound harsh but I wish my parents really was put to responsibility for abandoning N. in his teens, and turning him into what made our family cast him aside (in favor of me and my brother) since he was just a kid. I know nobody is perfect and parenting is really not my speciality, but I'm still more than a bit vengeful when I'm musing on this particular "family matter". I'm not flawless myself, and neither is N. But when I entered my teens and the problems started, I was even slandered by using my and N.'s name interchangeably. We've both been criticised by the family harshly for being "rebellious" and "outrage" and on many occasion the accusations have been just, meeting our deeds. But making him a warning example for the smaller kids (by throwing him out the door when I was six), and then in teens being compared to him whenever I "misbehaved" real badly, well... it felt like a threat. Besides, as if being made a warning example wasn't enough, I think it was a really nasty thing to use my step-brothers name in tongue-lashing.
Eventually N. was just the ordinary guy, in a sense that he wasn't anything to frighten children with. Well, no more than I am. Yes, he's been down and he's been low but that's just what you can expect, isn't it? And he's still some man with a backbone, I can tell you. A stagehand and a roadie, fixing hotrods and stuff for a hobby. Living his life with his wife. No kids, though. And not even any too bitter, considering his life. I had such a night out, watching him working from aside, over my pint. Sharing the most recent news and major trends in our life's. I had such a fun time. And another brother, too.
Mr EagleOwl [8:17 AM]
