[ 10.04.2002 ]
Is TIME your enemy or is it on your side?
that's a question of intense philosophying over your life and times, achievements and the times you fell on your face once more trying too hard and stubborn to make the unaccomplished... Killing time? Well, it's rather time that seems to be killing me, the years I feel after heavy using of this relatively new body. And then again, failing in my objectives.
SO? Another week that rolled by? Well, could have been worse, really. Could have been a week of mortifying anxiety for possibility of losing my job for some
properly educated smart-ass and ruining our households economics. Could have been a week of starting to live so called normal life (in my standards it's not probably that normal to some of you) instead of uncontrollable chaos. Could have been a week of wondering about sex and having sex, and if I should want more sex that we're not having too much, or is there anything in sex left for me to live for. As I said, could have been worse.
At least I have got done the application for the position I'm currently holding as a debuty. I've also managed to run the new versions of cover sleeves to press. And I have had it with being a lazy depressed bastard all over the place when not going out or something, so I've started doing my rituals again (which is helthier for one's personal insanity than getting "proper" medication). And I've been out listening to EBM and Dark ambient, with my Witchy woman and her friends. Had three drinks in ladies company and drooled after the rest of the audience's original razor-tongue-candies and cut-body-cherries with fetishistic dressing. But that's about it. No, nothing special I'm afraid. What's left of sex 'n drugs n rock 'n roll in my life? Bands don't attend to rehearsals and sex life has - if I remember correctly - once upon a time been active. Now it has settled down with me and I'm substituting the drugs with my favorite
legal substances in order to have some un-scheduled joys in my life. Smoking cigarettes and drinking coffee, doing nothing really extraordinary though some of the dull but important stuff was enjoyable after having them done, for half an hour.
Even if I should settle myself for having work to do on my enlightenment and conversation with my HGA there's still a need in me for mundane acceptance. Funny someone can think of "mundane acceptance" whilst speaking of actual union with GOD. Or maybe the importance of working the drosser concerns out goes away eventually when I stop caring for them and stick to theurgy alone. It's probably me having hard time to accept that it possibly won't get any better from here, the mundane glory and achievements, try to live with that; with or without a pentagram in your forehead and aura of Luciferian light about you. But there it is, something I am about, something I do, something of worth to me in myself. Jolly!
And there's more!
Taistelevat Muumit is back, so now YOU can check it out yourself and be dissapoint after my rantings on how great a game this is. And all that bollocks. I can't understand how it have turned into a pseudomania, but I'm once again referring to this same shit. Maybe I shouldn't remind You I liked this game? Maybe it's just because I have once written something of this topic which makes it easier to retain to it rather than coming up with something to say.Beats me. But now I'll beat Haisuli and that's what counts, I can get rid of this ridiculously shortlived obsession with beating Haisuli ("the furry animal with tail who stinked", as the Moomin Babel translated his reeking name). DEATH TO THE JAPANESE CANDY-COLORED FAKE MOOMINS! And some nipple-torture too for the bastards that colonialised Moomin in his degradablest shape... Ladies and Gentlemen, let me introduce to you:
Taistelevat Muumit
(if there's no link above, and you read these lines, I just haven't YET noticed to delete the message)
Mr EagleOwl [9:41 AM]
[ 10.01.2002 ]
Yee-haaaaargh!
Don't you just hate it when you have helpful friends/partner/collegue that shut you out? No, not in real social life, though that's eqally frustrating. I mean shut your connection down! You probably know the scenario where you write email or blog or surf your fave pRon sites (or what ever it is you do at work or at home when you probably had something more "important" to do) and leave your computer for fifteen minutes to find out you've got very helpful friends. One minute your on-line, writing in high of your inspiration and after you blink your eyes you realise someone has turned off your computer and chosen not to save any running programs. Didn't even have time to post it, save publish. So please:
Don't turn off the power if you're not sure he/she wouldn't agree, DAMNIT!
Not that I would have written of any important thing... it was about the problems of writing this blog. And the more general problems of writing and publishing anything in the web... So maybe I was asking for it? I'm not going to repeat the old joke about writing html and that Jesus saves...
To stay in subject:
Firstly:I've wondered what happened to those two initial words (and eleven slashes) that were my first post? No, the word were
not "testing, testing", or "Yo' momma!" Not that it would have been a sample of ingenious penmanship but still. This blog should have started with that one, not the commentary pondering on which language to write when the previous was two words in latin. I wrote the passage thinking of creating a new narrative world so naturally it crossed my mind to cite Genesis' words of the Creator. And so I did, in latin (though the original text was in hebrew and the actual words - were they ever such in a sense we'd understand as speech - in archontic). With slashes for bell-markers. But it seems that the Lion-faced Demiourge truly is jealous and self-willed God. Not that I'd hold him as personal enemy of mine - I don't cherish illusions of being
that high nad mighty. Guess not.
And then: It appears I failed to link you (if there's anybody at all) to Taistelevat Muumit. Even if I fucked up the linking (which I doubt) it's not my fault you can't play the Moomin aggression. The fantastic game isn't on-line at all and the pages cannot be found. Mr P. Uronen is hopefully only updating his pages. Or he has left university and haven't yet put the game on-line from home... Or something. I hope the game would be there soon, I have to beat thet Haisuli (what ever his name in english might be? Smellbag? Stinkpants?) to sleep well once more...
Mr EagleOwl [4:43 AM]
